Session 15: The Christmas Bombings

Evil Santaist Elves, are sent from The South Pole by Chaotic Evil Santa Claws.

SESSION LOG

Robert "The Heel" Stevens

12/26/20236 min read

Preface: The set up for this session takes some context first. The PC known as The Bonz is the cause for this whole session, even though his PC was not used in it. The Bonz has been the only player character still around from Session 1, and since then he as always been open about how his cleric worships a chaotic evil deity that is the evil robot Santa from the T.V. show, "Futurama". His character has survived this whole time planning for Santa Claws to visit Paradiso. Sadly not enough people believe in Santa Claws, so Santa decided to send out his little helpers to bring holiday slaughter and chaos before the new year. Who are these little helpers, why elves of course. Some of them assassins, some of them magic user / thief and a single fighter / magic user / thief. Santa Claws has given them gifts of explosives, oil flasks, and poisons for the holidays and a list of all the naughty people in Paradiso and Brightoni. Santa also instructs that the destruction of the Light House in Paradiso must occur before Christmas is over. He opens a few portals and sends his helpers in the dead of the night on 12/20/23.

Player Characters, Henchmen, & Hirelings

Dr. Bright - Level 2 Human Illusionist, Neutral Evil

Lego - Level 1 Elven Fighter / Magic User / Thief, Chaotic Evil

Los - Level 1 Elven Assassin, Chaotic Evil

Badman - Level 1 Human Druid, Neutral - Henchmen to Dr. Bright, becomes PC.

Big Black and Meaty - Hireling and Guard Dog to Dr. Bright

5 Candy Cane Sickle Men - Hirelings to Lego

12/22/23 Dr. Bright is with his men brooding in a dark ally whilst they have a cigarette. A portal opens before them and an elf comes ut with a large sack of something. He says he is looking for the Light House and could use some assistance getting there. On the way the elf learns of Dr. Bright's dislike of the common man. Lego offers him treasure if he will help him demo the tower and Dr. Bright agrees. When they get to the Light house it is very late. It sits off a 50' cliff ledge 30 yards from the jungle tree line. Two guards stand on each side of the only entrance into the light house. The Light House is home to one of the strongest wizards in all of New Hope, The Great Adolfo Pirelli, so naturally it has some degree of security. For some reason he has been incredibly naughty this year and has to pay for what he has created....

Paradiso Light House with Young and Old.

They come up with a plan to distract the 2 guards by shooting arrows at the cliff to make a distraction. Eventually the guards hear and 1 walks over to look around. Once the 2 are separated, Dr. Bright casts dancing lights to further distract the guard. The guard thinks it is some kind of separate and gets scared. The other guard notices his comrade starting to freak out so he opens the door to inside and calls for back up. A young and old man walk out of the building with 2 other guards both holding guard dogs on chains. As the dancing lights move into sight the old man says," I've seen this here before lads. Kids must be up to their tricks trying to have a bit of a laugh at ye expense. You two take them hounds and search the tree line for our unwanted guests." The guards start hearing for the tree line with the dogs. Dr. Bright then casts his brand new spell, phantasmal force. It forms a 30 ft spiked pit trap below the groups feet and the guards and hounds are all killed instantly. The guards are shocked! Old attempts to disbelieve the spell but is unable to make the save. Another guard yells out, "we are under attack!". At this point Lego pulls out an explosive arrow he fashioned from the sack.

Before he fired the explosive arrow, we had a discussion on what it would do. I then told him if he rolled a 1 the bomb will fall off the arrow at his feet and exploded. This was agreed upon and then he proceeds to roll.... a natural 1, OOF! The explosive rolls under Lego's feet as his candy sickle men star at him in horror. BOOM! The bomb not only explodes but ignites all the other explosives inside his holiday sack, killing Lego and his men. Dr. Bright, who was smart enough to move away from Lego with Big Black and Meaty before he shot, is completely safe. He says, "Fuck it, we are out of here!" and escapes with his men. They make it back safely and rest for the night.

12/23/23 Dr. Bright is approached by another South Pole Elf. This one goes by the name Los, and he is looking to speak with Lego. Dr. Bright explains the situation with Legos untimely death during the mission to blow up the light house. This guys knows a little too much, but seems useful to the cause. Los explains he had a large metal bomb strapped to his back. Santa also gave him another gift, a strong poison to use during his mission. Los ropes Dr. Bright into going for round 2. This time however they will use a grappling hook to scale the cliff from the beach head. Sounds like a decent move and the party waits until dark to head to the light house.

As they arrive at the base of the spot, they see a small boat house on the beach. Los wants to take a look inside and starts to mess with the lock on the boat house door. I roll for an encounter and what do you know they get it. The party hears a soft singing coming from the sea. Everyone rolls a spell saving throw and passes except for Big Black. There are 5 mermaids singing in the sea and Big Black is running towards them enamored by their beauty. Then 6 mermen rise from the waves with nets and javelins. They each have a throw and miss. The party retaliates with ranged attacks. They manage to kill 2. Next round and actions are declared. The mermen throw javelins and nets again, they manage to catch Dr. Bright. Big Black Drowns due to wearing chainmail in deep water and some of the mermaids dive below to feast upon him. Los shots 2 poison arrows and gets 2 more kills because of it. Badman leaps in an attempt to grab the net before the mermen reel it in. I tell him he has a 60% chance to make it and bro rolls a 66, OOF. He is unable to grab the net in time. Eventually Los kills another merman. The mer people retreat with Dr. Bright's drowning body.

Los breaks the lock on the door. The find a row boat and fishing gear. Los and Badman take nets and fish the dead mers out of the water. They find 13 gems and 7 pieces of jewelry. A huge haul! The job was still not finished. Los shoots his grapple hook up the cliff side and secures it tightly. He gets to the top and security is heavy. Los thinks no matter I die tonight. He runs to the base of the light house and uses his torch to set off the bomb. "Santa Akbar!" The explosion causes the tower to sway and then topple over into the ocean. Badman and Meaty take the goods from the mers and run back to Paradiso undetected.

Treasure and XP: All to Badman however for the guards and dogs he has to take his henchman cut due to him not being a PC until after Dr. Bright's death.

2 Guards - 22 XP

2 Guard dogs - 112 XP

9 Mermaids / Mermen - 280 XP

2 Lapis Lazuli - 20 Gold Pieces - 20 XP

4 Moon Stones - 200 Gold Pieces - 200 XP

3 Crimson Coral - 300 Gold Pieces - 300 XP

Aquamarine - 500 Gold Pieces - 500 XP

2 Opals - 2,000 Gold Pieces - 2,000 XP

Jacinth - 5,000 Gold Pieces - 5,000 XP