Session 10: Revenge of The Soy

The good guys return to the Cave of Soyjack, only to find more cringy horror.

SESSION LOG

Robert Stevens

11/13/202315 min read

Preface - This session was the longest I have ever ran being technically 8 hours long but really more like 7. There was a lot of spicy memes, but what else would you expect. This was after all the 10th session of my stint as DM. The Party of good heroes which still hasn't claimed a name wants to return to Paradiso but still finds themselves in irradiated Dublin, Brovenloft. Maybe this session they can return home without the mists preventing them form leaving. Only one thing stands in their way, The Cave of Soyjack from Session 7.

Downtime: Lucky found a trainer and trained for a week, then he gathered intel about Dublin and searched for a potential buyer for any future discovered Soylent. Antione and Jean were a little short on training costs. This was due to the fact that they couldn't find a trainer that was the same religion as them forcing a self train. Jean did some wrestling to raise his funds. Then Antione gave some money for Jean to gamble due to his secondary skill. They justified using his vice just to raise the minimum needed to level which they did. Then they both self trained for 2 weeks. Jean also stocks up on Irish Candy during "The Binge" on Halloween.

Player Characters:

Lucky Bowmen III - Level 2 Halfling Thief Neutral

Jean Var Rouge - Level 2 Human Paladin Lawful Good

Antione La Flare - Level 2 Human Cleric Lawful Good

11/12/23 Antione, Jean, and Brother Weynon head with their hirelings to the Cave of Soyjack. Lucky was going to meet them here but he must of gone on one of those notorious Irish bingers the night before. The holy men decided they are going to carry on without Lucky and his gang. They pull out the map and remember there is that electric trap enchanted door they could not dispel last time. They head in and go straight to the door with no encounters. Both Antione and Brother Weynon cast their dispel magic spells and both fail.

The guys head back to a room close to the exit that had 2 doors they had not been through before. Antione casts detect traps on the other door in the South East corner and discovers the door is safe. It has a door which leads to a room they have already been to and the hall leads to a dead end. They check for secret doors but fail. The boys decide to camp outside the dungeon and regain their spells, since they do not have a thief. There are no encounters whilst they camp.

11/13/23 The party awakens with still no Lucky. They head back inside attempt to dispel the magic on the trapped door again. They make it back with no encounters and cast the spell. This time they succeed and the door is no longer enchanted, nice. They open the door and enter a 30' by 30' room. Inside the room their is a door across from them, some papers with anime girls on them, and more interesting a large carved stone statue of what appears to be a Nintendo DS, the original one, running Nintendogs. Upon further investigation the guys find a small locked chest behind the mysterious statue. Antione uses his check for traps on the locked chest and its clear. They burn the anime girl pictures and decide to get moving.

The party opens the door and starts traveling down some long hallways until they come to a door. Brother Weynon casts detect traps on the door and it is safe to open. Jean opens the door leading to a 50' by 70' chamber. Inside the center of this chamber their is a chute leading down. After further inspection they see some kind of magical portal down at the bottem of the chute. The fish a rope down to see if anything happens then pulling it up revealing no damage or change to the rope. They ponder where it could lead: outside, home, deeper in the dungeon, or someplace far worse? These questions will have to take a place on the back burner for now. They still have far more to explore.

The party keeps fallowing some long hallways until they come to an open portcullis leading to a 30' by 70' chamber. They enter the room and there are 2 exits, 1 on the West wall and 1 on the North wall. Scribbled on the wall in large dark red lettering. (Blood?) It reads'" BEWARE THE SOY!" The party sees the warning and shrugs. They check the door to the North. On the 2nd attempt, the room is a 60' by 60' square room. There is a large fountain in the corner of the room adorn with 6 gargoyles. There is a door on the wall to the East. They take the door to another twisting dark hallway. Soon they come to a hallway heading East to West. To the East the hallway continues into darkness, and to the West a staircase descending down to the next level of the dungeon.

The party wants to descend the stair but they would like their spells back, and maybe the thief. They head out with no encounters and once again set up camp. Late into the night around 3 am a noise stirs from the cave. Antione and his men are on guard and surprise is rolled. No one is surprised as 9 Boomers emerge from the dungeon. (reskinned orcs) They begin angerly shouting about how the party members are entitled and don't understand hard work. They are camping on the lawn and these boomers are just trying to mow. The sleeping party members start to wake and initiative is rolled.

The party win initiative and sets spears for charge, while Antione casts protection from evil on his one trident guy. Blows are exchanged between both sides but no one dead yet. 2nd round is won by the party those who were asleep are awake and charge into battle including Jean who is curranty unarmored. They manage to kill a boomer. Then Antione heals the trident guy and Brother Weynon heals someone else both casting cure light wounds. 3rd round and boomers win initiative. They deal some damage but the party has had enough playing around and tries a new combo. Antione and Brother Weynon both cast hold person holding 6 boomers in place. Jean goes to wrestle one of the boomers that are unheld but it doesn't go as planned and the boomer gets out of the grapple overbear combo. 4th and final round the boomers win again. The 2 unheld boomers dip and retreat back into the dungeon. The remaining boomers are executed. The bodies are searched and 49 electrum is found. The party takes another long rest to once again recharge spells.

11/14/23 As the long rest comes to an end it is about noon. Finally Lucky shows up with is gang of 5 Irishmen fallowing closely. Lucky tells the party that he has found a potential buyer for any fully Soylent bottles they can find. The buyer is the Court Wizard of the Irish Candyman himself, Bong Weasley. The price per bottle will be decided after research is done on the substance to determine its worth. Mr. Weasley also offers the same deal for any other potential unidentified potions or magical substances.

The party then asks Lucky for a favor. They would like him to unlock the small chest they found in the DS room. He accepts for a cut of the score. He easily unlocks the chest and they find 250 gold pieces. They give 50 to Lucky then Antonio and Jean both take 100 gold pieces. The party then informs Lucky of what they discovered while he was absent, and then they tell him about how they plan on descending down the stairs to the next level of the dungeon. Lucky is ready to see what is down there so they head back into the dungeon.

As the party heads towards the stairs they notice the locked door they never opened on their way. Curiosity grabs hold of the party and they decide to diverge from the original plan to take a look. Lucky picks the lock with ease. It opens to a 30' by 50' rectangular room. There is an old fire place on the Eastern wall, an archway on the Northern wall, and a mysterious message painted on the Southern wall in large letters. All it says is "UWU". The party is unable to decipher the strange language. They decide to head North through the archway.

The party heads North through the archway. It leads into a 50' hallway heading East with a door at the end on the Northern wall. Lucky checks for traps. He passes and finds there are no traps on the door. It is however locked. Lucky pulls out his picks and again makes quick work of the lock. They open the door and come face to face with a deferent group of adventures.

They are standing over a dead boomer and a closed chest. There are 4 of them, 3 women and 1 is a man in a dress. Jean uses his detect evil ability and sees all of them are indeed evil. All the women have bright red hair. 2 of them appear muscular and appear to be fighters with shields. The 3rd women is tall, overweight, and has elvish features. (Half-Elf) She and the man, who goes by Walda, both seem to be some kind of magic users. One of the red headed warriors introduces herself as Earad, she is well spoken and arrogant. She introduces her party as SNATCH. She then starts ranting about the patriarchy, and how they don't need any men. Then she claims this is there dungeon to raid and its a Women's only safe space.

At this point, Jean has heard enough of this unpleasant women. He steps forward, and moves toe-to-toe with Earad. He looks down at the unhinged women and says, "No."

Its time for combat and the feminists win. Earad goes for a swing on Jean whilst the other female fighter, Jane, moves to engage with Jean as well, The Half-Elf cowers in fear whilst Walda casts charm person on Lucky, who only has 11 INT. That means he can not make a save to break the charm until 3 weeks, yikes! Now he must see Walda in the best light possible and will do almost anything he asks unless it will harm him. Its the boys turn and they are not messing around. Antione casts hold person and gets the 3 ladies. Jean moves to grab Walda and he yields knowing there is nothing else he can do. The party decides to bring these women back to face justice in Dublin and possible receive some kind of reward.

The party ties up the members of SNATCH, disarms them of all weapons and spell books, loots the chest for 1,000 copper pieces, and 250 gold pieces and return to town. Walda is able to get Lucky to cut her free on the way back but Jean notices she is free right away and keeps him close so there is no more funny briskness. The party receives 400 gold pieces. (100 gold per level of criminal x number of criminals) and sells one of the spell books for 300 gold pieces. Walda tells Lucky he must figure a way out to free him. Walda will give him an extra special reward if he frees him. They stay the night in town and will head back to the dungeon in the morning.

11/15/23 The party goes to the market in Dublin to start the morning. They purchase a pearl so Brother Weynon can cast augury at the magical shoot to find out if its beneficial. Afterwards they waste no time and get to to the dungeon with no encounters. This time they really are going to the second level for real. They head to the stairs but on the way stop to cast augury and ask if it would be beneficial if the went down the shoot. They pass the 70% chance and Weynon says its a yes. In hindsight I should not of allowed them to cast because they didn't make the infused brew but I was not aware of this condition at the time. The don't do anything else with the chute to the magic portal.

The party carries on to the stairs and then descend to the next level. They make a quick left down a short hallway to a door. Lucky checks for traps and passes, no traps on this door. They enter a square 50' by 50' room. There isn't much inside except for a pit with metal bars across the top. Lucky wants to check out what lays below and due to his small stature can squeeze through the bars. Antione ties a rope off on the bars for Lucky to climb down. At the bottom of the pit, Lucky finds an empty bottle of Soylent, a Soylent opener, 1 copper piece, and a skeleton of what appears to have been a man, but with very brittle bones. Lucky returns to the party and then checks for traps on a door they did not enter from. Lucky passes and there are no traps. They open the door and then decide to spike it open to keep it from shutting.

The room beyond the door is a 50' by 30' rectangular room. It is ominously lit by torches on the walls. The room has 62 silver bells hanging from pink ribbons on the ceiling. They party takes some time to collect all the bells and then remove the clappers from them so they do not ring. There is a door on the Northern wall of the room. Lucky checks for traps. He fails but there are no traps. it leads into a hall way going East to West. The intersects with a hallway going North to South. A very offensive odor is coming from the South. Lucky volunteers to scout ahead to find the source of the odor. The hallway is very long and it intersects with another very long hallway. Lucky is very curious and keeps heading deeper, alone. He finally comes to a door and checks it for traps. There are none and he enters a 70' by 50' rectangular room that has spirals carved along the walls and ceiling. Lucky finds a door on the Eastern wall. He checks it for traps and passes. He goes to open the door but struggles after 3 attempts the door pushes open from the other side and in enter 3 big coomers. (reskinned ogres)

The coomers win surprise with a 5 verses Lucky's 2. That is 3 segments of surprise for the coomers but they only need 1. The coomers engage in unarmed combat. The leader of the Coom Squad grapples into a head lock then overbears Lucky to his hands and knees. I rule that it is a stunner, as in the signature move of Kevin Owens. The other 2 coomers just pummel Lucky until he is unconscious.

Lucky later wake up in a cage. Searching his surroundings he is in a room with no doors. Must be a secret room. The only thing in the room other than him is a desk and chair with some kind of glowing box on it. The coomers will take turns sitting at the desk with headphones on and watch something on the screens while moaning noises can be heard radiating from their headsets. A truly horrific sight. The worst part is, all Lucky can think about is the "beautiful" Walda and how he needs to free her from the Dublin jail. Sadly this is where his story ends for the night.

After a hour of waiting the rest of the party gets worried. They travel down the halls and eventually get to the spiral carved room. Since the party has torch light, they are able to see that the room is painted black and white between the carved spirals. They find the door and some fresh blood on the floor nearby, but no Lucky. He has to be close. The party begins to worry.

They open the door and start searching down a hallway heading North to South that seems to dead end to the South. the party heads North then the hallway turns East. It heads to an archway leading into a 50' by 30' rectangular room with a door to the East and an open archway to the South. They take the South archway. It opens into a 40' hallway that ends with a door. The party opens the door and gets sprayed by an acid trap each taking 7 damage.

This room is very different from the other rooms. It is a 50' by 50' square room with 3 other exits, one on each wall. All the walls are painted in pink and white. The edges of the room is lined with some kind of color changing light. In each corner of the room their are depictions of a strange women who appears to be some kind of elven seductress making lewd faces. In the center of the room lays a tub full of crystal clear blue water. Next to the tub is a very small table with a little sign that reads," Gamer Girl Bath Water, Drink Me!" Jean casts detect evil on the tub but is not picking up anything. Antione decides to take a drink of the mysterious water. I have him roll a d20 and he gets a 13. Suddenly Antione becomes youthful again and he deages 13 years, jackpot! Jean and Antione fill up there water flasks with the liquid, then keep up the search.

The party rakes the door on the Western wall. it opens to a twisting hallway heading South. They find a door on the Eastern wall but continue South. The hallway ends with a door to the West and several small holes on the wall to the South. Jean checks the holes and is able to find 2 hidden pieces of jewelry.

They open the door heading West and it opens into a 30' by 30' square room. The room is dimly lit by torches and silk tapestries of vile acts performed by the many different wojacks they have encountered and some they have yet to see. More pressing is there are 11 psycho wojacks (reskinned Brigands) armed with long swords eager for blood.

Surprise is rolled and no one is surprised. The psychos win initiative and kill off 2 of the party's spearmen. The party goes with the hold person strategy, now a staple move. They hold 6 of the psychos but none are killed. 2nd round and the psychos win initiative again. They get more hits and kill the trident guy. Lucky for the party only 5 can attack this round. They party kills 3 of the psychos leaving only 2 left that are able to attack. This time party wins initiative and they take out the mobile psychos before executing the held ones.

The party searches the room and finds a chest with 3,000 silver and another piece of jewelry. They head out of the room and backtrack to the Gamer Girl Bath Water room. This time they take the door on the Eastern wall. it leads to a hallway and they head North. It comes to a door and they quickly open it. The room has a door on the Western wall and a staircase going up. They search the room and find another small chest with 500 gold. Its late and they have no idea what happened to Lucky. The party gives up the hunt for him. Hopefully he is ok or at least did not suffer a painful death. The party takes the stairs up, which leads to a hidden exit to the dungeon. The party heads back to town with a big score but a heavy hearts.

Treasure and XP: There are weird divides with the treasure and XP this session. The first part of the dungeon is split 50/50 between Jean and Antione, but the chest was opened by Lucky when they exited so he gets his portion of that (50 gold and XP). Then the party subdued SNATCH all this treasure and XP is split 3 ways. Finally the 3rd section which had the most treasure and XP is again split 50/50 between Jean and Antione due to Lucky's capture.

49 Electrum Pieces - 28 XP - 50/50 split

7 Boomers - 110 XP - 50/50 split

250 Gold Pieces - 250 XP - 3 way split (100/100/50)

1 Sold Spell Book (3 level 1 spells) - 300 Gold Pieces - 300 XP - 3 way split

Bounty for SNATCH (4 level 1 Adventurers) - 400 Gold - 3 way split

1,000 Copper Pieces - 5 XP - 3 way split

250 Gold Pieces - 250 XP - 3 way split

64 Silver Bells - 64 Silver Pieces - 3 XP - 50/50 split

Jade "Daddy" Choker - 2,400 Gold Pieces - 2,400 XP - 50/50 split

Wrought Platinum UWU Bracelet - 3,000 Gold Pieces - 3,000 XP - 50/50 split

Silver XBOX Controller Earrings with Gems - 3,000 Gold Pieces - 3,000 XP - 50/50 split

2 Water Skins of "Gamer Girl Bathwater" (Potion of Longevity) - 2,000 Gold Pieces - 1000 XP - 50/50 split